Mixed marriages in Kosovo are not a rarity, but the story of Caslav and Leonora Todic from the village of Skulanovo, not far from Lipljan, shows how much love can be stronger than everything – than politics, poverty, and differences. They have lived together for more than ten years, they have two children, and every day they break prejudices about who can be with whom.
Their home is graced by daughter Lena and son Ognjen, and although they live modestly, on a minimum wage and agriculture, for them the most important thing is that they are united and that love reigns.
Six times to luck
In order to find a life partner, Caslav traveled to Albania as many as six times. He says an acquaintance gave him the idea, and the journeys were neither easy nor short.
– He comes, this one from Prizren takes me to Lipljan by car, and then with him to Albania. Another man is waiting for us there. I like her, I don’t like her, one time, a second time, a third time… the sixth time there was luck. There God gave two children, a son and a daughter – says Caslav.
The family never had anything against his decision to marry an Albanian woman. On the contrary.
– No one could interfere in my decision, neither my late parents nor my brother. When a man decides to get married, it is not important what religion or nation the woman is. It is important to live as one should and that God grants offspring and children – says Caslav.
Today they live on his salary and work on the estate, because Leonora cannot get a job.
Serbian daughter-in-law without documents
When Leonora arrived in Skulanovo, she did not know a single word of the Serbian language. The first months were the hardest for her.
– When I got married, I didn’t know Serbian. The first three months were really hard for me, I didn’t understand what people were asking me. After six months I already understood a lot, although not perfectly – she recalls.
Although she has lived in Kosovo for ten years, she has never had a conflict with neighbors or an insult because she is an Albanian woman. The biggest problem continues to be the documents.
For more than a decade, Leonora has been waiting for an ID card, which is why she cannot work in either Serbian or Kosovo institutions. To help the family, she opened a tailor shop, but there is almost no work.
– We barely make ends meet with my husband’s salary. 250 euros is little. I don’t have an ID card, I can’t work. Until recently, I didn’t even have a health insurance card, I had to pay for every check-up, and it was the same during childbirth – Leonora is honest.
Changing religion and adjusting to customs
Still, she says, she adjusted to everything – customs, religion, household rituals.
– I adjusted to the customs, I celebrate the Slava, I knead the pogacha and the Slava cake, for Christmas I go to church. I also changed my religion. It is one God, there aren’t a hundred of them. Although I was a Muslim, I accepted everything – says Leonora.
Caslav, he admits, was surprised by her decision to change her religion.
– I didn’t force her, I didn’t even ask. She wanted it herself. I couldn’t believe that she would change her religion, but for everything else, I knew she would accept it – he adds.
Children, modest wishes, and a disappearing village
Their children, Ognjen and Lena, are growing up modestly but in a warm and happy family.
– I want notebooks, pencils, and crayons for school. I have an old computer that doesn’t work well, so I would like a new laptop so I can play games and study – says nine-year-old Ognjen.
Seven-year-old Lena adds: “I don’t like dolls, I prefer toy cars, but I would also like a phone.”
Skulanovo is a village that is slowly disappearing. It once had 84 households, today there are only 40, mostly older people. In that silence, the Todic family brings life and hope.
Caslav’s father Cedomir says that his daughter-in-law’s nationality is not important to him.
– The fact that she is an Albanian, I don’t give five cents. Some say “kudos to you,” and some fools say “you took an Albanian woman.” To me, it is important that we are united – says Cedomir.
Love stronger than borders
In Kosovo today, there are more than 100 marriages in which the grooms are Serbs from Kosovo and the wives are Albanian women from Albania.
The story of Caslav and Leonora shows that borders exist only when people create them. Their life is not easy, but it is honest, modest, and filled with love that lasts despite everything.